i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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