You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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