I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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