Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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