Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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