my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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