Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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