brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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