I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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