She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i've created a new STD.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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