i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My feet surprised me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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