I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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