guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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