just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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