If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
