I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
