i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
