I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
