How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
