its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize