I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
