I'm gonna have a badass scar
I love having hate sex.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
