I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
