Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
