goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
