I'm gonna have a badass scar
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
