If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize