I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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