dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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