Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
