I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
