I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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