well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
