I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
