You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize