As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Randomize