Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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