Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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