This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
