I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
