a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
