I think i sorta joined a cult last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize