I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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