Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
