Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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