it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
