Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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