Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am naked and annoyed.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
