she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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