just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
