he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
