i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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