maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
