It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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