next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
