She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
