Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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