Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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