I think scott just propositioned me for sex
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
