I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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